They know your name but do they know you?

So lately I have been having this small pity party. I wish I had some girlfriends to hang out with, I wish my husband and I had more friends. You know that kind of thing where you just want to just go hang out with some friends and not worry about the quality family time that is stressed by all the experts.

So now I need to sit down and think this through. There was a time when my husband and I had quite a few groups of friends in our lives. We had the neighbor friends, the work friends, the  kids’ friends parents. But we eliminated just about all of those “groups” simply because they didn’t know us as people. They didn’t know that we like our kids and want to take them out with us. They didn’t know that we liked each other and wanted to be with our spouses in all of our free time. These groups of people didn’t know us as who we truly were, whether by intentional or unintentional ways my husband and I chose to not to allow these people into our inner most “group” , our family.

I have never been one to have a “best friend”. When I was younger I didn’t want people to my house because I was embarrassed of the way my family lived and then I met my husband at such a young age and I knew then he would be my best friend til the end. So to have people attempt to get close to me is a challenge. I don’t let anyone into the inner sanctum of my mind because that is a very special place and the only one to ever cross into that realm of my life is my husband and best friend.

So now that I have put that back into perspective it’s time to pull up my bootstraps and get out of this poor, poor woe is me mood! There is a reason we don’t have all those groups of friends, none of them were trustworthy enough to become part of my true self. They all knew my name but they never truly got to know the real me.

Til next time, do those around you know the real you or do they just know you by your name?

Kristi E

Add a comment July 13, 2010

Still looking

I am still looking for that calm living remedy. I was really starting to think I had found it and then hubby had a couple of days off and the calm effect was gone. Hmmm.

Really what is up with that? My current schedule is get up before dawn and get hubby all packed and ready for work, after he is out the door I have about 2 hours of peace before any other being begins moving around in my home. This leaves me time for the peaceful sunrise watching, bird admiring, and just amazing quiet time. However when hubby stays home, I miss my morning routine cause he is home and so I don’t force myself to crawl out of that warm, cozy bed.

I am really trying to work on getting my quiet time daily, not just 4 or 5 days a week. It truly helps my sanity and I think allows a lot more productivity in my day. Just gotta figure out how to even the balance of my family.

Til next time, when is your quiet time and how do you fit it in to your regular schedule?

Kristi E

Add a comment July 8, 2010

Obedience

That is a loaded word. Dictionary.com lists the definition as” the act or practice of obeying; dutiful or submissive compliance”. Dutiful and submissive compliance, almost makes you sound weak. Or that’s what your ego says. Why do we as adults expect our children to be obedient to us but yet as we grown and develop our own mind  and thinking we decide that we know better than those we are to be obeying. Obedience is not just a word we use for the children under our feet. We as adults can be just as disobedient as they can, the lines are just a little grayer because we turned 18 and were given the right of freedom.

I struggle daily with obeying the rights and wrongs of our life and culture. Do I go rob a bank? Nope, but I do rob my children of precious moments. Same thing? Depends on your thinking, no I am not breaking any laws but I am losing time that can never be brought back to me.

I am disobedient to the Lord, I often second guess His directions for me. At times I just completely ignore Him. How is that any different from my children deliberately ignoring me? It’s not, yet when my children do that they are punished and when I disobey God, He just loves me. Or so I think. That was not a sarcastic comment, just simply my own spiritual growing. It says in the bible that we are to forgive 7 times 7 times 7 a day. And each day begins a new.

Are we as forgiving to those that disobey us as those that we disobey?

Til next time, think of whom you are obeying would you like that type of treatment from those below you?

Kristi E

Add a comment July 1, 2010

Things I learned yesterday

Did you know that tobacco causes tomato plants to have disease? There is actual studies to prove that smoking around tomato plants gives them an almost cancer-like disease called tobacco mosaic virus. Well if it can hurt a plant growing in the ground that is supposed to breathe in our carbon dioxide, what in the world is it doing to our lungs??

I learned that the Aztecs believed hummingbirds brought on sexual virility and strength while at war. They can fly at up to 34 miles per hour. And they are the only bird able to fly backwards. They got some talent!!

My children when kept together actually like each other, even though when we are on the go they fight constantly. Maybe a sign we are overscheduled? Possibly. I do believe I am definitely going to be reevaluating our schedules because the last few days have been peaceful and slow-paced, something my children most definitely need.

And I think the most important thing I learned yesterday was that if I take time for myself to meditate and speak with God then my life goes smooth and steady. No that didn’t just come to me yesterday, but I was looking back at the last week of my life in which I have deliberately came out and had my downtime or I guess since mine time is early morning it would be my waking up time. Everything has went as it should with plenty of time left to enjoy those in my life.  I feel my love for God growing a little each time which hopefully will build into a full-out loving trusting relationship. Unfortunately I am not real good at that, it took me 10 years to fully love and trust my husband but I do feel as I have matured in both mind and body this new building relationship will blossom amazingly fast.

Til next time, take a little me time to develop your relationship with God.

Kristi E

Add a comment June 28, 2010

Inspiration

I am given an inspiration every morning as I watch the sun rise. I want to paint. I have not a lick of talent or experience unless you count stick figures, but the scene from my back deck every morning is in a simple word “AMAZING”!

It gives me an inspiration to want to do something more, be something more. Yes it creates a desire in me to start doing something else in this busy chaos I call life, but truth be told if we are not learning something new regularly then we are basically becoming dumber instead. Think that through, people learn things new everyday and if you are not learning something then you in a sense are dumber than they are.  So while not actually dumbing yourself  the others around you are becoming smarter.

Not sure I will actually start learning to paint or just achieve to become a little more inspired, but all is said and done, I definitely want to do something with these wonderful scenes that I get to see every morning.

What’s your inspiration? What do you desire to want to be better at?

Til next time, if you aren’t learning something new essentially you are becoming dumber than someone else.

Kristi E

Add a comment June 27, 2010

Let Disappointments Go…

hmm, that is the title of the devotions for today from Joyce Meyer’s Starting Your Day Right…

Something I haven’t really put into my head lately, it goes on to refer to letting your disappointment go when your loved ones don’t make the choice you want them to make. Instead you should encourage them to make a spirit lead choice, but what if I think my choice is the spirit lead one? Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But isn’t that why God gave us the ability of free will. Also just because it’s my spirit lead one, why do I think it’s also my husband’s? Or my children’s?

I deal with this daily, I want us to be united as a family and believe for a new house out in the country with a farmlike atmosphere, my husband and 2 of my children want to believe for a house in city on a city block with neighbors all around. Which of those is the Lord’s will for us?  A little prayer may reveal it, however I don’t always feel like I am in tune with the Lord, I do pray not as much as I should but I don’t feel like I have that one on one with God. I am definitely a woman in the works, I want to believe, I want to have undeniable faith but I don’t. I have a hard time with trust, my trust was broken as a child and many times afterwards throughout my life. I don’t know how to let go of that pain and just let myself have that non-fearing all out trust. I envy (yes I know I am not supposed to do that either) those that can, those that can just say I know God will bring it into my home for my family. Sometimes I feel like those people in the movies that have the angel and devil on their shoulder, except my devil isn’t some small creature but actual human size and the angel is this tiny fellow that seems to just squeak out his voice, while my devil has this booming loud voice that tosses my mind into a constant doubt.

I feel as though my husband and I are both supposed to be in a ministry of some sort, what? I have no idea, I have asked and prayed yet never felt like I was given a definite answer. It seems every time our family becomes involved in a church or some type of ministry the devil destroys us and breaks us down into mere pieces, yet if we are out living in the world then he leaves us alone.

Well this went way south of where it started… guess that’s the benefit of my own blog, runs completely on my own ramblings..

Til next time, remember that God has a plan for each of us even though we think we know it already be led by your spirit and not your mind!

Kristi E

Add a comment June 26, 2010

Daydreams and New Beginnings

The pretty blue clouds start having pink tinges to them. Before you know it there are pink clouds all by themselves, then rises that big beautiful ball of fire. Temp is neither hot nor cold. Dogs barking way off in the background, while your 2 adorable puppies lay at your feet. The chair is not the most comfortable thing in the world but that’s okay cause the scenery around you can make you totally forget all the “uncomfortables”. Hot steaming cup of coffee, yes it should be some kind of herbal tea but for 1 I haven’t found a tea I do like to drink except black tea with ice and lemon and 2 I only have coffee in the mornings and cut myself off at 2 cups.  Before you know it the sun is up in the sky and the hot Texas temp is crawling its way back to 100, but all day you can remember those 30 wonderful minutes of perfect temp and quiet peaceful atmosphere.

That is how I have begun starting my mornings, not every morning cause I am a lazy person in the mornings by nature. However if I don’t allow my body to tell me it’s too tired then I get this amazingly serene morning that makes my day go surprisingly well no matter what the world is throwing at me. I wish  I would listen a little more to my mind instead of my body because then I could only imagine how well my life would run if I took those few minutes each morning to rejuvenate myself. I mean afterall how can I function as a peacemaker, lover, caretaker, and the numerous other titles I carry if my own mind is so disorganized?

Here’s to you Lord for making the sunrises and for giving me the wisdom to learn to welcome their arrival instead of dreading them!

Til next time, take a moment to enjoy one of God’s amazing gifts and see how serene your life becomes.

Kristi E

Add a comment June 25, 2010

Ins, Outs, Ups, and Downs

Wow has life been chaotic on our home front! I feel that the only time I have available to think is between the hours of midnight and 4 am and I am supposed to be sleeping then. We spent the last 2 days lounging at home and it was so nice cause while I am technically a stay at home mom, I have done everything lately but  stay home. In our family right now we have 4  doing at least one sport, 2  are doing more than 3, and so with games and practices there isn’t a single night we actually stay at home. Starting Monday there will be an additional daily morning activity added to the oldest’s schedule, so while Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, my Sunday is consisting of getting caught up and trying to get a little ahead in the household chores. Not sure how I would handle all of this if I were required to work outside of the home.

With all that being said, life is fun and busy for us all but I wouldn’t trade these days for anything. I love my children so much and with my oldest obtaining his driving permit this week  I see my time with him dwindling down to merely months until he no longer needs me to drive him to and fro. And let me tell you, we spend so much time in vehicles, we have many wonderful heart to hearts while driving to the next game.  It leaves an ache in my heart to see him growing into such a fine young man from the sweet angelic boy he was (well most of the time, while he was sleeping LOL)

With all this craziness going on, I have diligently stuck to my to-do lists often making them for 4 days starting with the day hubby goes back to work instead of trying the Monday to Friday thing. My lists are probably the only thing that has kept my family fed, clothed, and to their designated locations. I am also getting in a workout, fun time, and some organizing done 4 days out of the week.

Well til next time, keep those babies in the apple of your eye cause they will be grown so fast you won’t know what happened.

Kristi E

Add a comment June 13, 2010

Summer is Almost here..

So summertime is approaching and it’s so close we can taste it. The late evenings out hanging out in the yard, the all-nighters watching movies and filling up on popcorn. We are a summertime family to say in the least. We have less than a month left of school and the kids are so antsy that I am not sure how the rest of the month will go.

We have lots of games and practices still to make it through and there are a few camps the kids will be headed to, but by mid to late June we will be free of all obligations to just be a happy-go-lucky family. I am so excited.

Until then I am working hard at getting all the small home projects taken care of and all the clutter clean up done beforehand so that we can have an easy going fun summer.

Til next time,

Kristi E

Add a comment May 17, 2010